Caitlin Moran writes a lot about men, pornography, as well as about Jordan Peterson

And indeed why would anyone take advice from a man with an eating disorder and who seems very, very unhappy?

In her amazing book ‘what about men?’ Caitlin Moran, a British journalist and feminist, writes a lot about men.

Starting with Peterson who ‘generally presents as a loner preacher-man- one voice in a wilderness of modern, woke madness.’ Leads CM to Moran’s rule number three:

‘By and large, don't listen to loner preacher-men.’

In 2018 JP revealed his very strict diet of dead cows, salt and water. CM says ‘ I am not being flippant or dismissive when I say this sounds like a very serious eating disorder- and eating disorders tend to stem from very unhappy, anxious people who feel they need to exert more ‘control’ over their lives.’

There is no way the human body can force itself to eat this chewy and monotonous diet for long. And as we are not cats; we will become VERY constipated and VERY depressed.

JP is clearly very unhappy meaning that his insights and advice on how to live life will probably make you unhappy too if you follow them. That is entirely logical. When taking advice on how to live, it’s helpful to look at whether the advisor is enjoying life.

CM goes through the 12 rules for life in JP’s book. She has problems with the lobster analogy. Male lobsters will become depressed if they lose a single fight. Therefore he says, the because this one animal of millions has this trait human males, who are completely different to lobsters, must always be aggressive, fighting and winning. Second problem is that JP says 'Order is symbolically associated with the masculine.' and chaos with the feminine. Order is structure, tribe, religion, hearth, home and country. 'Chaos is the domain of ignorance itself...the monster under the bed, the hidden anger of you mother (very telling) and the sickness in your child. Chaos is the depair and horror you feel when you.have been profoundly betrayed (also telling)...the place you end up when things fall apart; when your dreams die.' Doesn't sound very pro-women to me. Jp presents no evidence that men and women are actually divided like this. Only mythology. How can those who mostly run the home, organised holidays, look after children and elderly parents and work at the same time be chaos? Peterson sees femaleness and femininity (ie women) as the main problem of men. He recounts a female patient he saw when a psychologist and how he doubted her story of rape. He praises 'bullies' as 'corrective' over the 'touchy' and over 'children' . Female 'nags' are bad because 'if men are pushed too hard to feminize (ie do housework) they will become more interested in harsh, fascist ideology'. (though being a bully is OK). A wife should be treated as the holy mother of god (ie a perpetual virgin).

‘Also: eat some fibre, Jordan B! Your bowels must be shot.’

‘The ‘self’ in ‘self-help’ is often a clue. Often it doesn’t refer to the reader. It refers to the author. Jordon B. Peterson is worth $8million.’

CM talks about the whining and whingeing of the elite rulers: straight, white men. But she begins to understand how their confusion and sadness is turned to anger and why they are channeled to the extremely popular, anti-feminist figures like JP and Andrew Tate.

‘The Patriarchy is screwing over men just as hard as it’s screwing over women.’ Thanks to feminism and support groups women, gays and lesbians come together to share their lives and problems. There are no such books or groups for men who are struggling. They are taught not to cry, to be able to cope, to never admit they’re struggling. Many young men don’t realise that they don’t need to be powerful in relation to women and to dominate and abuse them. Just like everyone else; all the power and self-esteem they need is within themselves. CM suggests a movement of support and sharing for men. Apparently there was such a men’s movement, as part of the hippy scene, in 60s and 70s, but fear of being seen as gay, ridicule as soy-boys and the machismo and materialism of the 80s meant that it fizzled out.

CM talks a lot about pornography. Her friend’s son, like most, started watching porn before he was 10. At 18 he had a big problem, couldn’t sleep because he was so stressed. He couldn’t be alone and would cry for hours.

“The line between watching porn and being the kind of person who actually did the things you see in porn got blurred in his head. I would be torturing myself, day in, day out, what the fuck? Because you’re into this kind of stuff, this who you’re going to be.” “ I had erectile dysfunction, because sex is…porn.’ ‘I was young, I was watching guys with gigantic knobs, so unrealistic, banging away for hours, and going ‘how the hell can I do any of that?”

“I didn’t know how regularly watching porn, as child, or young man, can act like a devastating explosion in your head: rewiring all your still-forming sexual thoughts and impulses until normal, real-world sex leaves you utterly numb, and you can only find any spark of excitement by clicking on something fantastical, extreme, impossible, illegal and, ultimately, a piece of cold, calculating business that will do anything to keep your attention. Even if you’re a child.”

It seems we have thrown young boys (and girls) to the wolves.

Thankfully the friend’s son seems to have got some help, been supported by his family and talked to his friends, who also admitted they hated the way porn made them feel too.

One part of the book I really liked. ‘My husband once nailed why Oasis are still, for millions of men, their favourite band. ‘Noel and Liam grew up in a really violent, unhappy house. And then Noel starts writing songs-songs about wishing you were somewhere else; feeling trapped in your home town; not knowing how to say what you’re feeling- but then Liam sings them in a really angry way. With real attack.

Everything you need to know about men is in the line, ‘There are many things that I would like to say to you/But I don’t know how.” Liam howls that. And there’s something quite heartbreaking about watching 250,000 men singing it back to him-like they really mean it. You know when men are sad, and scared-because they get angry.’

🐒