Our conditioning trains us
to crush our own souls.
We are punished by what we do, not because of it. Chris Hedges describes the live of killers once they’re discarded.
‘They are numb and cold. But it does not last. I covered war for a long time. I know, even if they do not, the next chapter of their lives. I know what happens when they leave the embrace of the military, when they are no longer a cog in these factories of death. I know the hell they enter.
It starts like this. All the skills they acquired as a killer on the outside are useless. Maybe they go back. Maybe they become a gun for hire. But this only delays the inevitable. They can run, for a while, but they cannot run forever. There will be reckoning. And it is the reckoning I will tell you about.
They will face a choice. Live the rest of their life, stunted, numb, cut off from themselves, cut off from those around them. Descend into a psychopathic fog, trapped in the absurd, interdependent lies that justify mass murder. There are killers, years later, who say they are proud of their work, who claim not a moment’s regret. But I have not been inside their nightmares. If this is the route they take they will never again truly live.
Of course, they do not talk about what they did to those around them, certainly not to their families. They are feted as heroes. But they know, even if they do not say it, that this is a lie. The numbness, usually, wears off. They look in the mirror, and if they have any shred of conscience left, their reflection disturbs you. They repress the bitterness. They escape down the rabbit hole of opioids and, like my uncle, who fought in the South Pacific in World War II, alcohol. Their intimate relationships, because they cannot feel, because they bury their self-loathing, disintegrate. This escape works. For a while. But then they go into such darkness that the stimulants used to blunt the pain begin to destroy them. And maybe that is how they die. I have known many who died like that. And I have known those who ended it quickly. A gun to the head.’
We are all brought up under, and are products of, the white western patriarchy (a system that rewards dominance (or submission) over women, non-whites, animals and the Earth). Western politicians, Zionists and killers are among its biggest victims. It teaches young boys (and some girls) how to crush their souls and natural compassion for these illusory rewards of money and power- it is a con. It is a living death. The things that make life worth living- connection between humans, animals and our planet, of which we're an inseparable part- are denied them.
There is forgiveness, even self-forgiveness, for all of us. I hope they find it. It's worth bearing in mind that if we eat animal products we are all killers, by proxy. And over 90% of animal products are produced on unconscionable factory farms where extreme abuse is just part of the system, but that's hidden away from our eyes. Remember the credentials that we need before we cast the first stone.
This is why I don't join in with 'fighting' the oppressor or resisting the system. This energy makes it stronger. It gives us, and reinforces, an 'identity' as a resistor.
The answer is let go all the 'identities' that we've been taught. To be open in every moment to our innate love and compassion that we had as children, before the conditioning and deliberate divisions and separations got hold of us.
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100% on the need to let go of the norms and indoctrination. That is the first, vital step - and from there, collective solutions will flow. And you know, i take your point about the Vegan thing - i don’t necessarily agree, as you know, that is the an essential path to a more equitable, healthy system. But i can see the argument that it would punch a hole in the current profit centers that are major pillars of the system. In my view, these holes would only be temporary whilst the system regrouped and shifted capital around into other profit centres.
There are a lot of other factors to be considered - how much Lithium, gadgetry etc is in use, alongside all sorts of other extracted minerals with horrific practices that poison water supplies, habitats etc. how is this all disposed of? How many pesticides etc would be put into use to ramp up the increase in plant farming etc? How are we transporting all of this etc? These are all factors inherent in our modern indoctrinated life that will remain huge problems.
The good news is our population bubble has burst and we are not reproducing as much. Population levels are simply going to reduce, if we survive long enough.
My problem with many of our current antidotes is that they are reductionist. We carve off a section of our collective experience, isolate the problems within that and provide solutions to those. Thus giving the appearance of possible progress, whilst remaining relatively unaware of the impact outside of that particular area - ie, on the whole which we are trying to fix. But until we arrive at the point where we let go, as you rightly point out, and begin developing means of collaborative existence together, we’re sticking plasters on wounds rather than taking the knife from the attacker.
And the attacker is the systemic code we are all running on in our heads. Unwittingly, unwillingly, because we get snared long before we even realise there’s a trap. And once in there, scrabbling for existence and trying to find some form of happiness overtakes. But fundamental to getting out of all of that is empathy, understanding and love for each other, irrespective of where we find ourselves in the doctrinal soup. We’re all addicts or recovering addicts of the systemic opium. And as any addict will tell you, love, support, acceptance and understanding by oneself and that of others is vital to managing it. So I don’t see it as throwing stones. I see it as open arms for each other, and, as you rightly point out, a shift of focus and energy away from the system towards each other, our fellow dwellers, our home and our shared experience on this big, beautiful space ship hurtling through space time.
Is our job to force solutions on each other or is it to help and support each other off the systemic opium?
Cheers for your writing and thoughts, always.
My gran was one of the suffragettes who exposed the hypocrisy of the patriarchy and I’m deeply grateful. Hamas action on Oct 7th was also motivated by love. I’m not saying don’t get angry or don’t strongly express your view point. I’m saying that if we take sides, us against them, it will make the problems worse. What we resist persists. It gives it greater energy- as we have seen with the response to Oct 7th. The hope is that now it has been brought to the attention of the world, things will change.
The very obvious problems with our world are OUR problems. I imagine it as sitting across a table seeing each other as the problem is much less helpful than sitting on the same side of the table and looking across at the problem. Those in the patriarchy who kept women down or who abuse Palestinians are just as trapped by the Patriarchy as those who are physically trapped by it. We want to release then not oppose them.